moving on!

im feeling too clogged here.... new chapter in life, it's about time! i've had this for, hmm, 3 almost 4 years?
gonna be sad leaving it, but i'll make sure it's always still here so i can look back on the good times.

follow me plesh :D


http://sillyboop.tumblr.com/

- the woo girls
- dropping the kids of/ entering the battlefield/ christening the toilet
- boom boom pow & lets have some fun this beat is sick!
- the perfect resort location which was either the same or right beside where most people stayed, so we all just hung out at the beach in front
- HATED the weather, got pretty mad at it, but still had good times
- "it's okay, i like to live my life on the edge!"

day one:
- sleepover at my house the night before
- i hate plane turbulence
- adventuring it out local way after not booking any transpo
- pounding rain on the way to the resort... which stopped when we got there (what weird weather)
- arriving to the sound of familiar voices already on the beach
- the awesome beach location
- the bros right beside our room
- the hennas: my cool guy geks, and toni and michelle's tyreece and tyroni
- eating at paradiso grill for the first time was GREAT food for only 200 each !
- coco mangas first for starters and watching the guys do 15 shots www.cocomangas.com/ CHECK OUT THE PHOTO OF THE WEEK.
- going to club paraw after for Rica's birthday celebration!
- bro-ing out with enzo
- chilling downstairs at the cabanna with only the bros who were mostly up there and therefore very funny/laughy
- and also therefore doing push ups and pull ups
- alex tan my favorite flying man!

day two:
- reading outside with the bright sun
- jonahs shakes (mango banana - the best !)
- banana boating which is now very lame due to the no-fall rule! so thomas michael and i in the front entertained by turning around, and enzo and junho were hanging off the tail
- eating at bite club
- getting very sleepy and taking a nap
- waking up to go to .. somewhere. hey jude?
- then coming back after people were gathered at the beach for the chill sesh
- george completely wasted and passing out on our beach towels
- running into esther and thor on the way back to the room so hung out with them, picking up jose in his resort
- four of us heading out with our power juice! which kept me happy all night
- going to coco were we met brent people and guys visiting from scotland
- drunk guy: hey let me buy you a drink!
 his  friend: oh whoa, do you have money?
 drunk guy: yeah dood, i got shit loads! let me tell you a secret. people think i'm a millionaire.. but i'm actually a billionare!
- jose thinking he saw steve aoki.. but it was just the guy we thought was a girl earlier
- i wish i took photos during this night :(
- chilling again at the cabanna with es and jose before i couldnt stay up anymore and ditched esther potentially being raped (but she didn't)



actually im tired... gonna finish this tomorrow, ahah.

These past few weeks have been so filled with happiness and sadness and rush and excitement !

From the last week of school:
- when everyone was counting lasts
- the senior prank, "project detroit", where we blacked the windows of the canteen, burst out glow sticks and senior shirts and music, and raved all around.
- and eating a different dessert from allegro each day
- eating in pancake house before class on wednesday and despite all my efforts.. still being late to class.

The last day of school:
- the study hall rave, where we barged in different classrooms in the middle of class, raving while ken played music from his laptop (until mr. atkinson got mad at us)
- the last lunch where we played music and danced in the middle of the canteen
- the last bell where we came out of the classrooms and ran through the hallways and onto the track and then surrounded mr. brown and doc brok and applauded them
- going out to Coco later that night with last minute permission from mom
- drive thru in mcdo where we rode in our walk-in cars, and climbed through the order window to use their bathroom
- and taking the picture outside Pete's house

From the hectic IB exams:
- where it was incredibly relaxing yet incredibly stressful at the same time
- where i had to write "000046-108" over and over again
- and i got worried about not getting into college because of math

From prom the next day:
- where prom itself wasn't that great, waste of date and dress, but the after prom at ina's was good
- where we left dasma to buy flashlights, went back in to sneak into CSA, but couldn't because the police followed us on bikes (the sledge hammer is pretty wanted)
- and the usual adventure in the sledgehammer that finally brought us to Mixed Nuts, which was disappointing
- and the helipad of Luna, which was impressive
- and getting home at 5 to watch the sun rise through Toni's windows before falling asleep

From the week of graduation practice, and senior lunch, and senior celebrity:
- where the band performed for the last time, but made many, many mistakes

and finally, graduation:
- where, for the first time, a grade performed it's BOB senior cheer at the end
- where i threw my hat and it amazingly landed on my chair
- and i was pretty sleepy after staying up till 3 the night before, "liking" everyone's graduation statuses on facebook

and dinner at circles:
- where i finally got my own camera
- but did not take full advantage of the buffet

and the after party at jeane's:
- which was absolutely amazing with dj and dancefloor and photobooth and food and 09chocolates and cupcakes
- that i didn't enjoy to the max because my feet where screaming for rest from the heels
- where zara took her first shot
- to the again adventure in the sledge, where we were supposed to go to mall of asia, but went the wrong way
- so decided to just go with the flow and attempted to go to tagaytay at 4 am but the lady at the toll didn't know where to go
so we took a turn that actually led us back to manila
- where we tried to sneak into the helipad of PPT but it was locked so instead stole the sign
- and then chilled in the pool till the am, "watching" the sun rise but didn't actually see the sun


i want to remember all this forever, which is why i tried to put everything in here.
the culminating events that we've been waiting for, for sooo long are finally over and now there's just one left!
boracay 09 :)

I have my last two papers for my psych exam tomorrow and I'm in the middle of studying my mom enters and starts talking about universities what i should choose blah blah.

I don't know why, but I get really tense when my parents talk about university. And I was studying. So I really wasn't in the mood.
And so I expressed it by being rude to my mom.
She goes out and comes back this time with a phone with kuya in it and even if i say, aggressively, that i'm studying she insists i talk to him about college.
so in the spirit of freud's displacement, i was mean to kuya too. it was hard to stay mean because he sounded so cheery but i tried my best.
i hand the phone back to mom and she goes "you know i hope you realize how you talk to your mother" and leaves.
fucking sldkfjsdlfkjds

and so the tears came and i got one of those stupid crying fits that i get because i dont know why
and now i can't study for my last psych exam.

i just want to get a good grade
i just want to get into university

i feel bad because i know that i was being really rude
can i justify my actions? i was studying, im stressed, im a teenager
yea but that doesnt really excuse it does it

but that's the way it is
see i dont even know if im furstrated at mom or at myself
i think it all boils down to this strained relationship i have with my parents. it feels strained. i hate showing emotions in front of them. expressing emotion. i don't want to be vulnerable. i never want to make the disappointed, sometimes i search for the tiniest things just to tell them for their approval. i don't even know. strained. like. ablarhgkj.

whatever.
whatever.

psychology.

Today was paper 1 of the math exam.
Today is the day that could possibly not get me into college.

i felt like i was going insane in the mall today. i was randomly laughing to myself in a very weird manner. then when we were going down the escalators and i was laughing, again randomly and weirdly, i just wanted to burst out crying.
but i had to stop myself, so i tried to by continued laughing.

i still kinda feel like bursting out in tears.
but after my 10 seconds of crying after the exam today when Laura came up to me and went "it's okay! he'll help you raise the baby! don't get an abortion!..... see? there could be worse things in life" I somewhat felt better.

Somewhat.
Because not getting into university is actually a pretty bad thing.


please please please let paper 2 be good.
pleeeeeeeeassssse, God.

University of Durham?



I wanna get there already!
Effed for art art art art art, why does art have to do this to me?

I hope I get the IB grade.
college college college
but hmm, can I really imagine ?

McGill.
No McGill :(
So I guess that's no Canada.


Now then I just have to decide between Durham and Edinburgh.. hhmmm hmm hmmm.
Durham is 3 years, or an optional 4 years with the 3rd year being a placement year, meaning I find a firm to work for and get paid and hopefully get recruited for a job after I graduate.
Edinburgh, I just found out, is 4 years but its Business MA Hons, which means I come out with a Masters. Pretty nifty eh?

Edinburgh's ranked 23rd in the world, and is more known internationally, but Durham is more known in the UK I think or at least in terms of getting jobs, and is supposedly where all the rejects from Oxford and Cambridge go.
Hmm, hmm, hmmm.




Hayy, McGill.
I got Boston Uni though, even without submitting the financial statement, aha.

Why do I do this to myself ?
No more bro.

Dad bought the DVD of "Taken" so we all just watched it in his room tonight.
At the end of the movie he goes:

"Hayy the usual story. You don't listen to your dad, you get kidnapped."

Bahahaha.


I'm infinitely screwed for exams and art.
I am now going to try and cram two years worth of learning the night before each of the exams.
Shit.

This is what you get for slacking of during break.
I've been trying to study bio but it's not going very successfully.
Then I still have to finish a entire art final + the candidate workbook by Monday.

So tomorrow I shall do art art art,
then study for bio,
then study for psych.

I still have to look for my psych stuff from last year, oh no.
But thank god, since English is an unseen commentary or a poem or prose and Filipino is an essay, and there's no art until May, I only really need to study psych bio and math.
but all those are deadly.

Two years worth of learning, dammit.



But Taken was a good movie :)
haha

I should stop being so judgemental.
And thinking highly of myself.
and caring so much.

and just be freee and happy ! :D

maybe then...

Push it to the limit !






I went to Ateneo Open House yesterday !
After Sex on the Beach, feeling kinda swirly, but it eventually went away.
I was falling asleep at one point at the Dean's speech, but eventually woke up.

I think I might actually be going there for the three months that I'm here, before I leave (hopefully) in September!
Which means no summer.
But really, I'm excited for any form of college life !

Today I also parked the car in the garage.
Actually I attempted to, but my attempt failed and dad had to finish it of for me. It wasn't normal parking k! He wanted it to the side, so he could squeeze the other car in to our limited parking space, ahaha.


This entire week there is nooooo schooll (WOOHOO) but it must be spent studying for exams.
I made a game plan for studying two weeks ago so that by tomorrow I would have all my reviewers made and finished and all I'd have to do is.. review.
But sadly, that did not push through. And I am left with 0 reviewers.
BUT NO MORE.
efficient studying starts tomorrow, because I HAVE TO ace the mock exams, so that I'll be confident about acing the real IB exams in May, which I realized, quite sadly, will determine the rest of my life.
No Joke.
The exams are pretty much what determines your grade. Like 90%. (or maybe I'm exaggerating but they're THAT BIG).
At least for those stupid enough to go to the UK for uni and gamble their lives on IB grades that they won't find out till.. June? July?
Which is me.

I think I will go sleep now.
Determined to wake up early for studying.
(And to cram art, fuck!)

This has been surprisingly easy.
And scary and exciting and risky.
Hmm.




Maaan, if I keep putting of art like this I am not going to have enough pieces for the year-end exhibit, and there goes college !
There is ZERO motivation.
I just want school done done done.

Pretty please ?



I was at church today thinking about college (sorry God), and I got scared.
What if I don't find friends?
Like, really really good friends.
That I can talk to and trust.
I'm already tough on trust as it is. I hope I don't keep everyone an arms length away from me.


But I'm still infinitely excited to leave.

Battle finals was horrible.
Being first sucked and I made so many mistakes so I felt really bad and I got teary eyed when people came up to me and congratulated us, hay.

But after a while I didn't care anymore because the other bands pumped me up !

I want to go to a concerttttt soooon.


And I don't want to go to school tomorrow :(
I'm finding school more and more uselss everyday.
I don't do anything anymore !
And I don't even care.
I just want everything overrrrrrrrr already.

This is why I hardly get sad that we'll be graduating and everyone will leave and blah blah.
Because I'm too excited for the next step.



And because I'd rather not.

A revelation I didn't want.
Hayyy.





Battle finals are on Saturday!
And we are majorly screwed. First practice was today, and still iffy about the songs. Shiznats.

I've gotten all my UK replies already. So wow, college is possible.
I'm just waiting for McGill !
Crossing my fingers.

Oh wow,

today has been the most useless day of my life!
I did nothing but stay in my room, either asleep or staring at useless stuff on the laptop, still lying down in bed.
That's when I wasn't downstairs eating.



But I am not actually severly, and sadly aware that I am single, which is pretty good !
Even though I'm watching Sakespeare in Love, which is so hayy
and makes me want to read Romea and Juliet, because I never actually did.

UBC, with scholarship !



Happy Valentine's Day :)

1.    I had no idea “Across the Universe” was based on Beatles songs until I was watching it and half way through I realized all the songs were Beatles songs.

2.    When I was a kid, I took ballet, piano, and gymnastics. Now I do Taekwando.

3.    I sometimes listen to music in bed, in the dark, and imagine that I’d be singing and playing the drums or guitar along to the music, in a live performance (even though I don’t really play those instruments).

4.    I play the keyboards for Rock and LOL.

5.    If I ever get a tattoo, I want to get a strawberry, for Strawberry Fields.

6.    I think that if I think realllllyyy hard, it will be possible to move objects. Ever since Matilda.

7.    I used to think the word “approximately” meant “exactly”. So when people said “approximately 2 hours” I thought they meant “exactly 2 hours”

8.    I used to have an Eminem phase and memorized his songs.

9.    When people ask me where I got the name “Maita” from, I tell them it’s from Margarita (my real name), but really I’m not so sure.

10.    I used to hate the name “Maita” because no one remembers it after the first time I say it.

11.    I used to be obsessed with the name “Stacy” and was 100% positive that I would name my kid that. (This was in 6th grade)

12.    I used to think that everyone had to have a favorite number, color, and animal. So mine were 8, purple, and tigers. (This was also in 6th grade. Even though I still like 8. And tigers are beautiful.)

13.    I can listen to a song over and over and over again without getting sick of it. But the song has to be pretty awesome.

14.    Sometimes after I read a book, I tend to relate to one of the characters and think like them. And then I start making connections to the book and real life.

15.    I do the same thing when I get obsessed with a television series.

16.    I memorize almost all Flight of the Conchords songs and sing them in the car with my brothers.

17.    Sometimes I make up words, and say stuff like “locker-ing” instead of “going to the lockers”.

18.    I am very excited for college.

19.    I still memorize a poem I had to perform in the 6th grade.

20.    I don’t get the whole planning-your-future-wedding thing because I never did that as a little girl.

21.    When I ride rides in amusement parks, I have to keep my eyes open and look forward just so I know when the ride is about to drop, because not knowing scares me.

22.    I have Nancy Drew books that my mom used to read when she was young.

23.    I keep all the letters I ever get – all the way from 5th grade.

24.    I had a huge, huge, huge crush on Kevin Zegers after I saw him on “Air Bud”, then become obsessed with the name Josh because that was his character’s name.

25.    I have two majors tomorrow but don’t feel like studying for either of them even though we just had a talk on senioritis.

Yesterday I slept over at Cella's house with Sel, and we stayed up watching movies and playing pusoy dos over and over again.
By the time it was 5am, we crashed.
This was totally alcohol-free.

Sel goes "Remember those days where we wouldn't sleep?"
And I go "Yes. We're getting old."

But I'm happy to say that I know that I'm going to be growing old with Cella, Casi, Sel, playing pusoy like those old grandmas that play mahjong or poker.
I love my friends.
(Even though we missed Casi).




Later on at home...
Dad: So what did you guys do in Cella's house, besides drink lots of vodka?